1. "I quit my job at the helium gas factory; I refuse to be spoken to in that tone."
2. "Did I already do my déjà vu joke?"
3. "I used to have a job as a pantomime horse, but quit while I was a head."
4. "I was wondering why a Frisbee appears larger, the closer it gets… and then it hit me."
6. "Have you ever noticed how popular observational comedy is?"
7. "My uncle was crushed by a piano; his funeral was very low key."
8. "I want to write a mystery novel… or do I?"
9. "I went to a karaoke bar last night that didn't play any 70's music…" at first I was afraid, oh I was petrified."
10. And his Edinburgh Fringe Best Joke 2012 winner: "You know who really gives kids a bad name? Posh and Becks."
Read more: http://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/10-best-Stewart-Francis-jokes-comes-Cambridge/story-26574283-detail/story.html#ixzz3boSwgaib
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